Ah, the days of summer are dwindling away into autumn. Soon, the yellows, oranges and reds will replace the emeralds, olives and forests of the foliage, and the air will hang cooler about my face when I step outside to walk the dog.
Seasons are inevitable and, for the most part, welcome. However, there are moments that we all would like to hold onto; a summer evening watching the sun set and the fire flies in their climactic dance, or the last ballet of springtime snowflakes, or the crisp sunrise of a winter morn, or the smell of fallen leaves and apples in the Fall.
Changes are also inescapable. Much like a rolling highway, the hills and valleys are oftentimes both the same and different at each crest and hollow. Both welcome and frightening, changes make our lives worth living, and make our hearts break.
In these past few months of summer, many changes have happened around me.
My father's short-term stay has turned into a long-term journey as his short-term memory is, for the most part, gone. His body has recovered since he took his fall in June, and he has started eating better and is getting much stronger. His wheel chair has been replaced by a walker which, when no one is looking, sits tucked under his high table in his room - much to the chagrin of his caretakers. His eyes brighten when company arrives, his sly wit and silly jokes slip out with a smile, yet he tires easily and is soon ready for a nap. When asked later who visited, or what he had eaten for his earlier meal, he is no longer able to remember. Yet his long-term memories can be drawn out like a golden thread from the confusion behind his eyes, and he smiles with recognition.
My mother is on her own for the first time in her life and is both terrified and hopeful by the chaos around her. She can no longer curl up with my father in the dark of the night, she must travel to his new "home" to steal a kiss, and the days and nights are long with the quiet. However, she has been able to do a few things for "her" without deferring to anyone, including the replacement of the living room furniture and the acquisition of a companion cat. Company is even more welcome to stay for a while.
Changes.
There are still the ongoing issues with my grown son, living his own life. Enough said.
My hands have been keeping my mind busy, making dolls, and fairy gardens, and dreams come true.
Changes.
Just as long as I keep my windows down to let the fresh breeze inside while I drive with my dog, and enjoy each moment, the seasons may last a little longer...
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3 comments:
So sorry about your dad. It's very hard.
Sorry to hear about your dad. It is such a difficult stage of life. My own dad is still okay for memory but ever frailer and totally housebound. I sympathise with you.
Yes, autumn is coming here, although it seems as if summer only just arrived.
Thank you so much. He is well loved at the care center and is actually getting stronger. He no longer needs to use the walker and I has become quick on his feet again. As for the memory, my sister and I were chatting after a visit and she told me he "lives in the moment now." I thought, perhaps, that isn't really a bad thing at all!
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